Do you remember the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? I wonder if a parent, a caregiver, teacher, sibling or some well-meaning elder told that to you as a little kid. And I bet you tried your hardest to believe the person, didn’t you? But long after that scrape or cut healed, those mean or nasty words continued to play on in your head, over and over again. Words are powerful, they are potent weapons, meant to hurt, to have impact. And their power remains, long after the cut or bruise has healed.
When someone speaks, those words hold power. Those words have the potential to heal, to hurt or to transform. The meaning behind those words, can change the life of a person forever. When we are little, the words we hear get internalised, negative labels are held onto and influence our thoughts, feelings and ultimately drive our behaviours. Thus the kinds of choices we make, the actions we take are a consequence of those internalised words. Imagine if you were the kid on the playground who was always left out, told” you can’t play with us”, “we don’t like you”? These messages continue to play in your head over and over again, right up into adulthood. You constantly feel not good enough, don’t belong, don’t fit in, something must be wrong with me. This sense, this feeling becomes a barrier for a healthy emotional life and is difficult to overcome. You always expect rejection, find it difficult to form friendship groups. Perhaps are the loner in the office. Struggle to find a romantic partner.
So, in the lead up to the Christmas holidays and opportunity for many shared gatherings, think about the power of your words. Choose your words wisely, for they might inspire and create great change, or they might do major damage. Considerate, thoughtful words can brighten someone’s day, they can offer pleasure, happiness, kindness and friendship. Words can endear respect, be gratifying and uplift the soul. They bind people together but also tear people apart. Words have destroyed families and nations, caused terrible wars and evil.
Let your words be the inspiration, the life changing words we want to hear. The words that have the potential to break someone’s inner chains. Let your words be the potential that transforms someone’s dreams into a reality.
Stop, breathe, pause. Take a moment before you speak. Offer your words wisely. Once uttered, they cannot be recalled.