Have you ever stopped to consider just how much power your thoughts have? If you think about it, your thoughts influence your feelings, which in turn influence your actions and behaviours and these ultimately create your outcomes.
Wouldn’t you want to have some choice then over the kind of thoughts you have, and what you do with these thoughts?
Eckhart Tolle once said, “If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” What this really means then, is that to change the external, the work must be done on the inside.
Unfortunately, we all spend so much time and energy working on our environment in our quest for happiness, and we forget that happiness, contentment, fulfillment, grounding and so on, actually begins within.
Really, the driver behind why you feel the way you do, the root cause, is your thinking …
The average adult has about 6, 200 thoughts a day. And of these thoughts, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive. So think about it, the majority of your thoughts are not uplifting and joyful, and neither are they refreshing and innovative either. It means then it is time to do different. Time to alter where you focus your attention and thoughts, so that your life experiences are different. You are what you think.
If we drill down to basics, you understand that your mind is made to think. There will always be that mind chatter. And that’s ok. It’s what you do with that mind chatter, and how you see that mind chatter that counts. Learning to step away from your thoughts, observe them and engage with them in a healthy way, is part of understanding that not all of your thoughts are true. Thoughts, then you will see, wield less power, and become less emotionally triggering. And of course, will then be less of an influence over your behaviour. For example, if you regularly engage with the thought that I am awkward in social situations and you constantly feed that thought, you’ll start to feel anxious, withdrawn, avoid going out and perhaps even feel depressed.
How does your body react to these thoughts? You might slump your shoulders, keep your head down, avoid eye contact and project no confidence.
But what happens if you change your thinking? Have more positive and empowering thoughts? I feel more confident in smaller social situations? I feel more relaxed when I am with “Jane” on a Saturday night out. These thoughts trigger a cascade of different neurotransmitters and feelings…. And most certainly a different body posture and actions.
You will feel more confident, happier and willing to challenge yourself to be more social.
How you think and how you feel directly impacts your body and your behaviour. Your thoughts create your reality and perception of the world. By shaping your thoughts to align with your values, morals, goals and your vision of where you want to be in the world, you will move closer to feeling the way you want to feel and doing the things you want to be doing.
Remember, it is impossible to control the mind with the mind. Using the body to ground yourself first, moving out of your Amygdala and Fight-Flight response is essential to be able to think logically and sensibly.
Breathing, Tapping, Havening are all good self-soothing techniques to move you into that calm more centred zone. I’m sure you have heard it before, but practice makes perfect… and if not perfect, certainly helps to make you feel a whole lot better.
So, I encourage you to connect with resources within yourself, believe in yourself and step by step start to make changes to your nervous system and to your thinking! Rome wasn’t built in a day, but all it takes is one step to begin your journey.