As Mother’s Day approaches, we’re surrounded by imagery of joyful families, warm embraces, and heartfelt celebrations. The shops fill with flowers and cards, and social media floods with tributes to “the best mum in the world.” For many, this day is a cherished opportunity to express love and gratitude. But for others, Mother’s Day can stir a very different set of feelings—ones that are tender, painful, or complex.
Not everyone has a mother in their life. Some people have lost their mothers—recently or long ago—and this day becomes a marker of absence and grief. Others may have a mother who is physically present but emotionally distant, unwell, or unable to provide the safety and nurturing we instinctively long for. There are also those whose relationships with their mothers have been fraught with instability, trauma, or silence.
Likewise, not every mother-child relationship follows the script of closeness and connection. Some parents are estranged from their children, by choice or circumstance. Some mothers carry the weight of unresolved hurt, disappointment, or longing. And for those navigating infertility or loss, Mother’s Day can be a piercing reminder of what feels out of reach.
This day – so often painted in idealised colours – can actually bring up a flood of mixed emotions: grief, longing, anger, guilt, confusion, even numbness. These feelings are not wrong or broken. They’re human responses to the lives we’ve lived and the relationships we’ve had – or yearned for.
If you find Mother’s Day difficult, know that you are not alone. It’s okay to feel however you feel. There is no one way to experience this day, and there is no rule that says it has to be celebrated in any particular way at all.
Sometimes, the most supportive thing we can do for ourselves is simply acknowledge the truth of what this day brings up, without judgment. That might mean setting boundaries around family gatherings, limiting time on social media, or creating a private ritual of remembrance or self-care.
If this day feels particularly heavy for you this year, consider reaching out to a psychologist or mental health professional. Talking through the emotional impact of family dynamics, loss, or unmet needs can be an important step toward healing.
Therapy offers a space to honour your experiences, make sense of your feelings, and explore what nurturance might look like for you—whether or not it came from your mother.
Above all, be gentle with yourself this Mother’s Day. You deserve compassion, wherever you are in your story.